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The house

la maison alain auerset The messenger “One day this house will be yours!” These are the words of Luc, my pastor friend, as he points out the strange building in front of me. “Come on, Luc… think about it! I am far too poor to buy it! With my family, we are living below subsistence level, quite honestly, how can you dream up something like that?” He doesn’t say anything but has this annoying little smile which people have who know something that you don’t know… The discreet return The years have gone by and today, acting as if nothing was up, Luc announces to me: “There you are! ‘The’ house is for sale!” That same smile that twists his mouth prevents him from continuing his remarks. But, as they can’t stop themselves, they escape through his eyes and say to me: “Well then? Are you going to buy it?” “Grrroooaaan, Luc! You know as well as I do, my financial situation hasn’t changed, and I… “Eh? What are you talking about?… I didn’t say anything…” He has this look of indifference that the guilty have when they want to pass themselves off as innocent by whistling a banal tune. (Why is it that I don’t manage to have any normal friends!?) The absent-minded detour The following morning, as is my habit, I plan to go into the forest, but this twisty path has a mind of its own and because of it I find myself face to face with the building in question. Now it is my thoughts which, unbeknown to me, are embroidering a whole web of fantasies: “Hmmm…it is true that it would be ideal, my workshop downstairs, my family right above… cool…” SLAM! Reality, which – as everyone knows – nurtures only aversion for embroidery, slaps me with its implacable logic and brings me out of my daydreams: ‘You’re broke! OK?!” The following day, same again, the path, taking advantage of my inattention (I often have my head in the clouds), deposits me right at the same spot (oh, very clever!) “OK, Lord, let’s get things straight; in this world, things don’t work like that, you need money to get a building… do you understand?” I sense then that He has the same smile of connivance as Luc… (those two are hiding something from me…) I am not deluding myself; Luc, the path, Jesus are going to use their complicity so that every day I (and my vigilante/distributor of slaps, ‘reality’) come back to the same starting point. So let’s look at the problem head-on… The banker How do you go about buying a house? (Er…? Instinctively I slide in the direction of the bank…) The local media often talk about me, so much so that the banker recognises me straightaway. From the tone of his voice I have the impression that he is convinced that I must have come by limousine and that my chauffeur is waiting for me outside; I blurt out to him: “Morning! I would like to buy a house; would you lend me the money?” He enthusiastically hands me a form: “Of course, Mr. Auderset! Kindly note down your monthly salary on this document (a simple formality).” “My monthly salary? Er… it depends on the months (the life of an artist, you know…) my oh my. I don’t understand anything about accounts… Fortunately I have a wizard friend who helps me fill in the form (well… wizard, accountant; they are one and the same thing!). The true banker The figures which the banker discovers have wiped off his welcoming smile, which up till then had resembled in every respect the one that appears in the company’s advertising. “Er… Terribly sorry, Sir, I’m afraid it won’t be possible! For us to lend you money, you have to already have some yourself.” Blimey! I do not understand at all the logic of this bunch of cronies! Their ties must be tied so tightly that they prevent the blood from getting to the brain… (?!) Sheepish, facing the house, I explain to God two or three things that he must not have understood properly about the workings of administration in our lowly world, before moving away from it into the forest with him. A few days later, I receive a strange visit from an elderly couple who explain to me that they had been planning to invest in the stock market (a grown-up thing), but that, after thinking it over, they had felt it would be wiser to invest in the Kingdom of God. It just so happens that a chance conversation with one of my friends led them to me… In short, they have lent me 100,000 Swiss Francs (approx. 125,000 Euros), telling me: “You have 40 years to pay it back.” I go back to the bank but this time I don’t go to the counter first, I go straight to knock on the manager’s door (after all, when I pray that’s what I do too, I speak to God directly and not via an intermediary!). And he agrees to lend me the remainder. Nowadays I live in this house with my little family. Creativity and lots of fun overflow from every part of it. Digging in the cellar, I discovered a notice ‘evangelical church’. The people who laid the first stones of this building (in the 1800s) planned to make it into a church, a place of worship and human warmth. All the owners that there have been, since its foundation, have each time been servants of God… I have kept the interior as it was, transforming the pulpit (the thing for preaching) into a drawing table and the large windows into a sprinkler of light. The exotic plants, just like the drawings, have taken over all the walls. Praise be to the King of kings, the Banker of bankers, his paths are amazing for his most simple servants who allow themselves to be led by Him. He has compassion on them and blesses them in his time. In the same time (no connection, but anyway…): Willy Grunch (my comic book character) wins first prize for Christian comic books at Angoulême !!! A prophet (who is passing through) tells me:  “Go, I will send you far away to the nations…”  And Boom! In the days that follow, I am invited for the first time to speak in Spain and in the USA! Alain Auderset" ["post_title"]=> string(9) "The house" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(9) "la-maison" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2015-05-27 16:04:12" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2015-05-27 14:04:12" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(31) "http://www.auderset.com/?p=9188" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" }

The house

The house The messenger “One day this house will be yours!” These are the words of Luc, my pastor friend, as he points out the strange building in front of me. “Come on, Luc… think about it! I am far … More… More…

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coop alain auderset
Did you know that God is the same whether we’re at church or not!? In the market! I like it when my wife sends me off on an errand to buy useless things like butter (or something else... I’m not especially obsessed by  *butter*, I’m just giving an example...) Despite the impression I have of wandering about in a forest full of all that’s superficial, with fluorescent orange mini price tags instead of leaves, and adverts everywhere, trying to get us to believe we need all this meaningless stuff to fill up our lives, I like it, because you meet people (and *butter*!) I was hesitating between cheap bread that looked hard to swallow and good bread where it was the price that was hard to swallow, (Oh boy, my life really is too complicated!) When suddenly: WHAM! A lady greets me from the back. It was the mom of one of my little Benjamin’s friends, And we’re all set for the small talk: - “How are you? What lovely weather we’re having.etc...” Right in the midst of our superficial (yes, that as well) and extremely animated chatter, punctuated by piercing bursts of laughter, BOOM! the Lord’s sweet voice (yes, Him again!) made me sit up and take notice of a joke she’d just casually come out with: - “ha!ha! ha! in any case, all the men in my life always finish by dumping me sooner or later, hi!hi!hi!” ( we’re not talking about a a trash disposal unit (dumping me has a different meaning in this case) I was seized by a tremendous compassion for her and I looked straight into her heart. - “what did you just say?” She pulled up sharp and in the middle of the store she started to cry. And that’s how I was able to talk to her about Jesus’ unconditional love for her... In the street! In the street, I met a guy with a limp, I knew that he’d had a tough life (alcohol, prison, comics). We chatted about everything and nothing at all when, out of the blue, BANG! I asked him: - “would you like me to pray for your knee?” (argh! What’s got hold of me today!? I’ve forgotten I’m not in church any more!). Surprised, he stammered: -  “Eh? What?! Umm... if you want” and there, standing on the sidewalk, I prayed out loud for him... not on my knees, shouting with all my force towards Jerusalem, just a simple prayer, keeping my eyes open so as not to embarrass him in front of any passers-by... Something shifted in his soul,  he was really touched (who cares about the knee anyway!) it’s what I see in him whenever I come across him now... At home! The biscuits were already hot, just out of the oven, but… without butter! Alain www.auderset.com" ["post_title"]=> string(29) "Bring me just butter, please!" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(26) "co-mission-par-pour-beurre" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2015-03-24 20:15:59" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2015-03-24 18:15:59" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(32) "http://www.auderset.com//?p=9077" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" }

Bring me just butter, please!

Did you know that God is the same whether we’re at church or not!? In the market! I like it when my wife sends me off on an errand to buy useless things like butter (or something else… I’m not … More… More…

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  string(225) "main chemin Auderset"
  ["post_title"]=>
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The vision of the way

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  string(574) "Dessin de la couverture de la nouvelle BD Marcel 3

machine x page2 www

Pour plus d'info, voir ici

Pour acheter, voir ici

Pour voir des articles de presse qui en parle, voir ici"
  ["post_title"]=>
  string(20) "(FR) La love-machine"
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(FR) La love-machine

Dessin de la couverture de la nouvelle BD Marcel 3 Pour plus d’info, voir ici Pour acheter, voir ici Pour voir des articles de presse qui en parle, voir ici More…

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rambo cadre pt
‘Auderset in his combat gear, ready to battle the accursed aphids’
 
 
The war of the accursed aphids
Armies of aphids have appeared on the little apple trees I’ve planted just in front of my studio! 
They suck the life blood from the trees – so it’s goodbye to any fruit! In the end, it’s a death sentence for the tree!
 Armed with a few half-baked solutions, I sprayed them with a black olive soap spray! I could have sworn I heard them laughing!
 – Thanks for the wash and set, Mr. S. Tupid!
(it’s a little nickname they’ve given me... ahh, they’re real jokers these aphids!) Not only have they multiplied (are aphids some sort of aphrodisiac!?),
but they’ve even got onto my house plants!! Arrggh! Is this some sort of curse!?
    I escaped into the forest to talk about it with God:
 – Hey God, what do you think about all this!?... you wouldn’t by any chance be trying to tell me something, would you?
A crystal-clear thought came suddenly to me:
 – These aphids represent criticisms.
 –  ?!?...
The silence in my head was followed by a tidal wave of doubts and interrogations....
 – Forgive me God, I’m sorry. It’s true that I often ‘notice’ faults in others....
* To notice: hypocrite’s term for ‘to criticize’
 
Real-life application
I’m in a meeting with a couple of friends (we’re busy drawing up plans to conquer the world).
 – What about you, Alain, what do you think of Billy-Bob?
(that’s not his real name... I’m not crazy – the guy’s a pumped-up WWE wrestler who’s escaped from an asylum for the thin-skinned!)
Billy-Bob... there are so many criticisms you could level at him, so much to get your teeth into that you could make a four course meal out of it !
However, I think back to my conversation in the forest... and I stick to pointing out all his positive character traits.
(Actually, there are lots of them!!!)
At just that instant, I felt a positive, strengthening force pass through me
(Wow! It could only be my friend the Holy Spirit, giving me a hand)
My small audience, which had been looking forward to tucking into a delicious dish of gossip with double cheese (Billy-Bob) suddenly found it had lost its appetite, they were left speechless, and then touched.
 
An atmosphere of peace
Sara and Valérie (my former secretaries, members of my inner circle) blurt out at the same time:
 – ‘the really nice thing about you is that you always see the best in people’ (it’s not true, but it’s nice to hear).
And at the same time, they feel good too, because if a target as tempting as Billy-Bob is spared criticism, subconsciously they know that nobody will be talking about them behind their backs either...
A question:
Why shouldn’t someone who criticizes another person in front of you do exactly the same to you as soon as you’re out of earshot?
You’ll be their next victim.
 
Total war
(best read with ‘the Eye of the Tiger’ on in the background D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsJK7tlBQOQ&feature=fvwrel ) Tam ! Tatatam! Tata Taaaaa!
 There’s a stony stare and a frown upon my face, my teeth are clenched, my determination steely as can be.
Upon my back there’s a rocket-man style jetpack connected to a death laser
(well, it’s more like a kind of hand-pumped mister fed by a bit of half-perished rubber pipe, but hey...).
The war against the aphids went on for some time
(the war against criticism and fault-finding is still ongoing).
With the help of some tips from my mother in law (that’s bound to do for them...)
I sprayed a rhubarb leaf concoction (I’m fresh out of napalm*) and that really burns them up ! (with compliments from Mr. S. Tupid!)
 * (I’d used the last of the incendiaries that had been lying around in the basement)
Every three days (don’t worry, I’ve still got time to write comics), I repeat the procedure.
This time round I use fermented nettle extract. It’s very effective, but my word, it really stinks!!
My spray goes absolutely everywhere, much to the delight of my kids who run away from me, fleeing to the end of the street, imagining that a chemical apocalypse is being unleashed upon the neighborhood.
I also acquired an ace squadron of ferocious ladybugs that I released on to my beloved trees...
Despite all my efforts, some aphids cling on... the situation seems hopeless! I suddenly understood why – they have a powerful ally!
 
Ants
Did you know that ants raise aphids in order to ‘milk’ them to harvest honeydew, just like we milk cattle.
They are formidable fighters and defend their flock to the death
(they squirt formic acid, they bite, stab, scratch – they’ll even pull your hair).
To beat aphids, you first have to beat the ants’ system.
To fight against the temptation to find fault, you first have to beat your own way of thinking.
I’ve found a whole ant-hill I didn’t know was there, much too close for comfort, that I’m helping to clear out.
 
Victory
It’s true that I’ve no apples this year, but at least my apple trees are still alive, and most of all, all the aphids are gone!
... Unless it’s just because we’re in winter right now (gulp!).
P.S: Billy-Bob, after having been unemployed for years, has just found himself a casual job.
I have the strangest feeling that having ‘blessed’ (spoken well of) him has something to do with it...
Who knows... (?)
 
 
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The war of the accursed aphids

‘Auderset in his combat gear, ready to battle the accursed aphids’     The war of the accursed aphids Armies of aphids have appeared on the little apple trees I’ve planted just in front of my studio!  They suck the life … More… More…

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