Monthly Archives: December 2021

object(WP_Post)#497 (28) {
  ["ID"]=>
  int(18139)
  ["post_author"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["post_date"]=>
  string(19) "2021-12-07 13:53:11"
  ["post_date_gmt"]=>
  string(19) "2021-12-07 11:53:11"
  ["post_content"]=>
  string(26003) "

 
Charm of the night
The summer night has left the evening of its adolescence to enter the darkness of its maturity. Majestic and fully inspired, it extends its light veil of clouds, still hiding nothing of the nakedness of its immense and infinite starry sky. The full moon is at its zenith. Behind a delicate veil of cloud, it has the feline glance of a girl in love, who is pretending not to see you when she only has eyes for you… The breath at my window, invigorated by the subtle summer scents of the meadows is like arms wide open inviting me to share the moment. Pure beauty…! Much more peaceful than days, nights carry and spread the soft babbling dreams of the humans who have left the frenzy of their complicated world for a restful sleep.
Assisted by the silence of the universe and the chant of the inhabitants of the woods and the fields, it hums a relaxing, magical and hypnotic symphony that rocks us in its arms. 
The many mysteries of the night attract me. Surrendering to its charm, I decide to savor it in the forest. Except that today, it’s not the night I am meeting with but my son. 
 
The metal tribe
‘Coz my boy is performing a concert in the middle of the woods. In this odd location, along with Seb, his pal who plays the guitar, they will be taking part in a heavy metal (and stoner) festival. I’m so happy to be able to witness their progress and their artistic performance once again. I will also get to meet and mingle with his marginal friends, who over the years, have become mine as well. A whole tribe of regulars attend this kind of event. They’re at odds with a society that insistently tries to brainwash everyone, and they’re looking for something else. I so understand their cry, and actually, I do have “something else” in me. 
And if I enjoy the road leading me to them, it’s mainly due to the journey, because I’m not going on my own.
 
Tiptoeing away.
Exhausted by the day to come and unable to resist, my wife has already fallen asleep in her cozy bed. I kiss her goodnight and like a jolly little fellow on a good blow, I tiptoe away. 
I'm so used to the walls of my house that I don’t even see them anymore. It feels good leaving for someplace with no walls at all. Doing things the other way around, I enter outside and disappear in the night.
 
Trail in the night
There are several woods to cross before reaching my destination, so I take my car. I drive very slowly in order not to disturb the penetrating atmosphere of the place, windows wide open to absorb it better. The air is mild. Usually, at this time of night, I’m already in the fascinating land of dreams. And for sure, part of me is dreaming, even though I’m awake. I’m inclined to say it’s because of the immense presence of the humble person accompanying me. 
 
 Blessed journey 
God… Above all, this journey is an opportunity to spend a special moment with Him. Although He’s invisible, He’s so much more real and there, than any of my visible friends.
It’s the reason why the journey often becomes more important than the destination. 
Behind the wheel, with Him, I realize I’ve been longing for this moment all day. I slow down to make it last... 
I hadn’t even realized that I needed to get some apparently ordinary everyday matters off my chest. The relief that follows makes me understand that every situation I handed over had been a source of undetectable stress wrapped in some “make do” I hadn’t discerned. 
 
Lost !
There is no sign to show the way to the festival. (hahaha! I recognize the team’s erratic organization! Hmm, okay… I’m not the most focused person either and I might’ve missed it…). As I follow prehistoric paths, I have a doubt: Is it the wrong night or am I just lost? 
I turn the engine off, in order to hear my destination better... 
-Ah!!! On my left… music! Phew! 
The closer I get, the clearer it becomes. From below I can see multicolored light glowing from a cabin in a meadow. My deduction is that’s where I’m trying to go. 
-Hey! but I'm not heading in the right direction! 
The sound, making its way between hills and valleys, is playing tricks on me. Following my heart and the music, I take a most narrow and rocky path. Only when I come across some people on their way back, am I heartened.  
 
Concert
The first person I see when I reach the cabin is my son and his joy at my sight. I spot his sister immediately, my little darling, with her husband and my son’s young bride (they married a month ago). As I approach the stage, I joyfully say hello to all my buddies and all the long-haired youths I don’t really know but I do recognize. (Oh! how I love these kids!).
 
Beyond the audience
Super concert! The audience is unanimously admirative, though no one can see my son as completely as I do. They only enjoyed what blew up in their faces, when I could see deep inside him. 
To me, all his previous concerts are superimposed and I can appreciate them all, down to the very first one which occured in our small kitchen. Our bumblebee was just taking his first steps then, and started banging on pans for our greatest joy. 
I can still see him at six, his shining eyes lighting up ours the day we bought him his very first drums with what was left of our savings. 
I remember when as a kid he used to accompany me at church. I played the guitar and I was concerned that he might not be able to keep up with the beat (during our Saahsal* rehearsals, he’s the one worrying for me now...).
I can remember everything! When he was allowed to stay up late in order to follow our concerts or rehearsals and when, between two songs our former drummer taught him his secrets. 
I can still see the whole family scattered in the dawning audience, hidden in the crowd, to attend the first concert of his group who used to rehearse at home. Sure, the compliments were for them, but they made me even happier than if they had been for me. 
And long story short, I still have in heart (which works better than my mind), I have in heart practically all the gigs that followed.  
Arm in arm with my daughter, just like every time, we dance our joy of being there together. 
After hugging everyone warmly, I quietly slip away, softly sliding downhill to my cozy bed. Whatever dreams I am about to reach, I know they will never compete with the ones I’ve just left.  

 
A dad’s gaze 
I admit I might not be honest when speaking of my son... but I am, concerning what I feel. And what’s true is, had my son (or any other of my children) been physically or mentally disabled and totally unable to perform such artistic skills, I would’ve been just as proud. If all he had been able to make was a noodle necklace, I would wear it like a beautiful piece of jewelry. Because that’s what we dads are made of... 
– Isn’t that correct, my Dad/God who is in heaven? 
You’re like that, more than any of us. You’re there at every important moment of our lives. Careful not to disturb, mindful and discreet, you follow us everywhere... And hidden in the crowd, Your heart for Your children pounds even louder than mine. 
 
  *Saahsal is our band with my wife, my son Silas and 2 other friends.
To listen to Silas’ music:
https://silasauderset.bandcamp.com/releases
Mouche-miel (his “math-metal-cheese” band):
https://mouche-miel.bandcamp.com
Family Band & Co:
www.saahsal.com
 


Find more of the author’s meditations in his book
Meet me in the forest
First 30 pages for free here
 



If you wish to receive Alain Auderset's newsletter, you can sign up here ."
  ["post_title"]=>
  string(21) "The gaze in the night"
  ["post_excerpt"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["post_status"]=>
  string(7) "publish"
  ["comment_status"]=>
  string(6) "closed"
  ["ping_status"]=>
  string(6) "closed"
  ["post_password"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["post_name"]=>
  string(22) "le-regard-dans-la-nuit"
  ["to_ping"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["pinged"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["post_modified"]=>
  string(19) "2021-12-07 15:01:34"
  ["post_modified_gmt"]=>
  string(19) "2021-12-07 13:01:34"
  ["post_content_filtered"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["post_parent"]=>
  int(0)
  ["guid"]=>
  string(32) "http://www.auderset.com/?p=18139"
  ["menu_order"]=>
  int(0)
  ["post_type"]=>
  string(4) "post"
  ["post_mime_type"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["comment_count"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["filter"]=>
  string(3) "raw"
  ["post_content_ml"]=>
  string(55639) "[:fr]

Le regard dans la nuit

Charme de la nuit
La nuit d’été a quitté le soir de son adolescence pour entrer dans sa maturité noire. Majestueuse et pleinement dans son rôle, elle étend son léger voile de nuages qui ne cache rien de la nudité de son ciel étoilé immense et infini. La pleine lune est à son zénith. Elle a le regard félin d’une fille amoureuse qui, entre un léger voile de nuée, fait mine de ne pas te voir alors qu’elle n’a d'œil que pour toi... L’air revivifiant, parfumé de subtiles senteurs des prés d’été parvenant à ma fenêtre telles des bras grands ouverts sont autant d’invitations à la rejoindre. Quelle beauté…! Bien plus sereine que le jour, la nuit contient et distille dans un doux babillage le rêve des humains qui déjà ont quitté la frénésie de leur monde compliqué pour un sommeil réparateur. 
 
Composant avec le silence de son univers intersidéral, le chant scandé des habitants des champs et des bois, elle ronronne une symphonie reposante, magique, hypnotique, pour mieux nous bercer dans ses bras.
La nuit me séduit par tant de mystères. N’étant pas insensible à ses avances, je m’en vais la rejoindre dans la profondeur de la forêt. Sauf qu’aujourd’hui, ce n’est pas avec elle que j’ai rendez-vous, mais avec mon fils.
 
La tribu métal
En effet, mon garçon donne un concert au milieu des bois. Avec Seb, son pote guitariste, ils se produisent tout à l’heure à un festival métal (et stoner) qui se déroule dans ce lieu insolite. Je me réjouis d’être une fois de plus le témoin de leur progrès et performance artistique. Je pourrais revoir et fraterniser avec ses potes marginaux qui, à force, sont aussi devenus les miens. C’est toute une tribu d'habitués qui peuple ce genre d'événement. Ils sont en rupture avec la société qui n’a de cesse de nous conditionner, et sont en recherche d’autre chose. Je comprends tellement leur cri, et j’ai justement en moi “autre chose”.
 
Si je me réjouis du chemin qui mène à eux, c’est surtout en raison du trajet, car en effet, je n’y vais pas seul.
 
Je m'éclipse
Épuisée par la journée à venir, mon épouse a déjà glissé dans le sommeil de son lit douillet sans pouvoir lui résister. Je l’embrasse sur le front et tel le joyeux brigand sur un bon coup, je m’éclipse sur la pointe des pieds.
C’est bon de quitter les murs de ma maison usés par mes yeux trop habitués à ne plus les voir, pour rejoindre un endroit qui ne contient aucune paroi. Faisant tout à l’envers, je sors par la porte d’entrée et je disparais dans la nuit. 
 
Chemin de nuit
je m’y rends en voiture, car il me faut traverser plusieurs forêts reliées entre elles pour parvenir à ma destination. C’est excessivement lentement que je roule dans ces bois pour ne pas perturber l’atmosphère pénétrante de ces lieux et la fenêtre grande ouverte pour mieux m’en imprégner. L’air est doux. Habituellement, à cette heure, je suis déjà parti pour le pays fascinant des rêves. Bien qu'éveillé, une partie de moi doit y être tout de même. Mais je pencherais pour dire que c’est un effet que produit l’immensité de l'humble Personne qui m’accompagne.
 
Trajet béni
Dieu… ce trajet est avant tout l’occasion d’un moment privilégié avec Lui. Il a beau être un Ami invisible, il est bien plus concret et présent que ne saurait l’être aucun autre de mes amis visibles.
C’est pourquoi, mes voyages sont devenus bien souvent plus importants que leur destination.
 
Assis avec Lui au volant de la voiture, je réalise que toute la journée, j’ai attendu et désiré cet instant. Je ralentis pour que dure encore davantage l’instant... 
Sans en être conscient avant, j’avais besoin de lui déballer quelques sujets du quotidien aux apparences anodines. Au soulagement que je ressens une fois confié, je comprends que tous contenaient une dose nuancée de stress imperceptible emballée dans du “faut faire avec” que je n’avais pas pris la peine de déceler avant.
 
Paumé!
Aucun panneau n’indique le festival. (Ah ah! je reconnais bien là l'organisation à l’arrache de c’t’équipe! hum, oui bon... n’étant pas non plus le mec le plus attentif à ce genre de détail, j’ai dû passer les indications sans les voir...). A mesure que je m’enfonce sur des chemins datant de la préhistoire, j’ai comme un doute: me suis-je trompé de nuit ou simplement paumé?
J'éteins mon moteur pour mieux écouter ma destination... 
-Ah!!! là sur la gauche...de la musique! ouf! 
Plus je m’en approche, plus c’est distinct. Depuis un contre bas, je vois un îlot de lumière multicolore émanant d’un chalet situé dans un pré. J’en conclus que ça doit être l’endroit où je tente de me rendre. 
-Ah! du coup, je ne suis pas dans la bonne direction!
Le son se faufilant entre vallées et collines est trompeur, et me joue des tours. Au feeling et au son, j'emprunte un chemin étroit et accidenté au possible. Ce n’est que lorsque je croise des personnes qui en reviennent que je me sens enfin rassuré.
 
Concert
Mon fils et sa joie de me voir est une des premières personnes que je vois en arrivant au chalet. Je repère aussitôt sa sœur, ma petite chérie, avec son mari et la jeune épouse de mon garçon (ils se sont mariés il y a un mois). Je croise et salue, dans une exclamation de joie, mes potes et toutes ces têtes d’habitués que je reconnais sans pour autant les connaître, et à mesure que je m’approche de la scène, tous ses jeunes poilus au long cheveux (purée c’est dingue comme je les aime ces gamins!).
 
Au-delà du public
Super concert! Si le public est unanime d’admiration, personne ne voit mon fils aussi bien que moi. Ils ne peuvent apprécier que ce qu’ils se ramassent dans la face, alors que moi je le vois en profondeur. 
Je peux apprécier en superposé tous ses concerts précédents et même depuis celui de ses débuts. Il doit coïncider avec ses premiers pas, et c’était dans notre étroite cuisine, quand ce petit bout de chou tapait sur des casseroles pour notre plus grand bonheur. 
Puis, je revois ses yeux émerveillés d’enfant de 6 ans allumant les nôtres, lorsque nous lui avons acheté sa toute première batterie avec ce qui restait de nos économies. 
Je me rappelle quand, haut comme trois pommes, il m’accompagnait à l’église. Je jouais de la guitare et je m'inquiétais alors de savoir s’il parviendrait à tenir le rythme jusqu’au bout (dire que maintenant, lors de nos répètes Saahsal* c’est lui qui a repris ce souci à mon égard...). 
Je me rappelle de tout! Quand il avait le droit de veiller tard, afin de suivre nos concerts/répètes et qu’entre deux morceaux notre ancien batteur lui révélait ses secrets. 
Puis je nous revois avec toute la famille, éparpillés dans son public naissant, cachés dans la foule pour suivre le premier concert de son groupe qui répétait à la maison. 
Les compliments du public avaient beau leur être adressés, ils me faisaient plus plaisir que s’ils m’étaient directement adressés.
Et pour faire court, j’ai en coeur (qui marche mieux que ma tête) aussi quasi toutes les représentations qui ont suivi…  
Avec ma fille bras dessus bras dessous, ce soir comme les autres, nous dansons sans rien retenir notre joie d’être ensemble en cet endroit.
 
Après avoir chaleureusement embrassé tout le monde, je me suis doucement éclipsé pour glisser en bas des collines et atterrir blotti dans mon lit. Quels que soient les rêves que je vais rejoindre, je sais qu’ils auront peine à rivaliser avec ceux que je viens de vivre.


 
Le regard des papas
Suis-je objectif lorsque je parle de mon fils? probablement pas (j’avoue)... mais je le suis avec ce que je ressens. Car il est vrai que, si mon fils, (lui ou n’importe lequel de ses frère et soeurs), avait été handicapé moteur ou mental, incapable de telles prouesses artistiques, je n’en aurais pas été moins fier. Et si alors, tout ce qu’il était capable de faire n'était rien de plus qu’un collier de nouilles, je le porterais comme une parure. Car voilà... nous autres les papas nous sommes faits de ce bois.
- Pas vrai Papa/Dieu qui est dans les cieux? 
Toi encore plus qu’aucun d'entre nous. Tu es là à chacun de nos moments de vie importants. Et malgré que tu déploies des trésors de discrétion pour ne pas nous déranger, tu nous suis partout... Et caché dans le public, ton cœur pour tes enfants vibre des milliers de fois plus fort que le mien.
 

 
*Saahsal est le groupe où je joue avec mon épouse, mon fils Silas et 2 autres amis, saahsal.com
 
Pour écouter les compos de Silas:
https://silasauderset.bandcamp.com/releases
Mouche-miel (son groupe de math-métal-fromage):
https://mouche-miel.bandcamp.com
 
Groupe famille and co:
www.saahsal.com
 
Retrouvez ce genre de texte dans la collection Rendez-vous dans la forêt:
www.shop.auderset.com
[:en]

 
Charm of the night
The summer night has left the evening of its adolescence to enter the darkness of its maturity. Majestic and fully inspired, it extends its light veil of clouds, still hiding nothing of the nakedness of its immense and infinite starry sky. The full moon is at its zenith. Behind a delicate veil of cloud, it has the feline glance of a girl in love, who is pretending not to see you when she only has eyes for you… The breath at my window, invigorated by the subtle summer scents of the meadows is like arms wide open inviting me to share the moment. Pure beauty…! Much more peaceful than days, nights carry and spread the soft babbling dreams of the humans who have left the frenzy of their complicated world for a restful sleep.
Assisted by the silence of the universe and the chant of the inhabitants of the woods and the fields, it hums a relaxing, magical and hypnotic symphony that rocks us in its arms. 
The many mysteries of the night attract me. Surrendering to its charm, I decide to savor it in the forest. Except that today, it’s not the night I am meeting with but my son. 
 
The metal tribe
‘Coz my boy is performing a concert in the middle of the woods. In this odd location, along with Seb, his pal who plays the guitar, they will be taking part in a heavy metal (and stoner) festival. I’m so happy to be able to witness their progress and their artistic performance once again. I will also get to meet and mingle with his marginal friends, who over the years, have become mine as well. A whole tribe of regulars attend this kind of event. They’re at odds with a society that insistently tries to brainwash everyone, and they’re looking for something else. I so understand their cry, and actually, I do have “something else” in me. 
And if I enjoy the road leading me to them, it’s mainly due to the journey, because I’m not going on my own.
 
Tiptoeing away.
Exhausted by the day to come and unable to resist, my wife has already fallen asleep in her cozy bed. I kiss her goodnight and like a jolly little fellow on a good blow, I tiptoe away. 
I'm so used to the walls of my house that I don’t even see them anymore. It feels good leaving for someplace with no walls at all. Doing things the other way around, I enter outside and disappear in the night.
 
Trail in the night
There are several woods to cross before reaching my destination, so I take my car. I drive very slowly in order not to disturb the penetrating atmosphere of the place, windows wide open to absorb it better. The air is mild. Usually, at this time of night, I’m already in the fascinating land of dreams. And for sure, part of me is dreaming, even though I’m awake. I’m inclined to say it’s because of the immense presence of the humble person accompanying me. 
 
 Blessed journey 
God… Above all, this journey is an opportunity to spend a special moment with Him. Although He’s invisible, He’s so much more real and there, than any of my visible friends.
It’s the reason why the journey often becomes more important than the destination. 
Behind the wheel, with Him, I realize I’ve been longing for this moment all day. I slow down to make it last... 
I hadn’t even realized that I needed to get some apparently ordinary everyday matters off my chest. The relief that follows makes me understand that every situation I handed over had been a source of undetectable stress wrapped in some “make do” I hadn’t discerned. 
 
Lost !
There is no sign to show the way to the festival. (hahaha! I recognize the team’s erratic organization! Hmm, okay… I’m not the most focused person either and I might’ve missed it…). As I follow prehistoric paths, I have a doubt: Is it the wrong night or am I just lost? 
I turn the engine off, in order to hear my destination better... 
-Ah!!! On my left… music! Phew! 
The closer I get, the clearer it becomes. From below I can see multicolored light glowing from a cabin in a meadow. My deduction is that’s where I’m trying to go. 
-Hey! but I'm not heading in the right direction! 
The sound, making its way between hills and valleys, is playing tricks on me. Following my heart and the music, I take a most narrow and rocky path. Only when I come across some people on their way back, am I heartened.  
 
Concert
The first person I see when I reach the cabin is my son and his joy at my sight. I spot his sister immediately, my little darling, with her husband and my son’s young bride (they married a month ago). As I approach the stage, I joyfully say hello to all my buddies and all the long-haired youths I don’t really know but I do recognize. (Oh! how I love these kids!).
 
Beyond the audience
Super concert! The audience is unanimously admirative, though no one can see my son as completely as I do. They only enjoyed what blew up in their faces, when I could see deep inside him. 
To me, all his previous concerts are superimposed and I can appreciate them all, down to the very first one which occured in our small kitchen. Our bumblebee was just taking his first steps then, and started banging on pans for our greatest joy. 
I can still see him at six, his shining eyes lighting up ours the day we bought him his very first drums with what was left of our savings. 
I remember when as a kid he used to accompany me at church. I played the guitar and I was concerned that he might not be able to keep up with the beat (during our Saahsal* rehearsals, he’s the one worrying for me now...).
I can remember everything! When he was allowed to stay up late in order to follow our concerts or rehearsals and when, between two songs our former drummer taught him his secrets. 
I can still see the whole family scattered in the dawning audience, hidden in the crowd, to attend the first concert of his group who used to rehearse at home. Sure, the compliments were for them, but they made me even happier than if they had been for me. 
And long story short, I still have in heart (which works better than my mind), I have in heart practically all the gigs that followed.  
Arm in arm with my daughter, just like every time, we dance our joy of being there together. 
After hugging everyone warmly, I quietly slip away, softly sliding downhill to my cozy bed. Whatever dreams I am about to reach, I know they will never compete with the ones I’ve just left.  

 
A dad’s gaze 
I admit I might not be honest when speaking of my son... but I am, concerning what I feel. And what’s true is, had my son (or any other of my children) been physically or mentally disabled and totally unable to perform such artistic skills, I would’ve been just as proud. If all he had been able to make was a noodle necklace, I would wear it like a beautiful piece of jewelry. Because that’s what we dads are made of... 
– Isn’t that correct, my Dad/God who is in heaven? 
You’re like that, more than any of us. You’re there at every important moment of our lives. Careful not to disturb, mindful and discreet, you follow us everywhere... And hidden in the crowd, Your heart for Your children pounds even louder than mine. 
 
  *Saahsal is our band with my wife, my son Silas and 2 other friends.
To listen to Silas’ music:
https://silasauderset.bandcamp.com/releases
Mouche-miel (his “math-metal-cheese” band):
https://mouche-miel.bandcamp.com
Family Band & Co:
www.saahsal.com
 


Find more of the author’s meditations in his book
Meet me in the forest
First 30 pages for free here
 



If you wish to receive Alain Auderset's newsletter, you can sign up here .[:]"
  ["post_content_langs"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["fr"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["en"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["post_title_ml"]=>
  string(56) "[:fr]Le regard dans la nuit[:en]The gaze in the night[:]"
  ["post_title_langs"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["fr"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["en"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
}